Privileged - Formally synonym for ‘wealthy’, can now be used to describe everyone you disagree with, because BAAAWWW, they have no right to say anything.
Trigger Warning - Goes before posts containing mean stuff, funny stuff, and everything else in existence. A way to…
Actually there’s one more definition I’ve learned that should be added to this list -
Wingsunfolding: A self righteous idiot who apparently believes “if it doesn’t directly affect me, it’s not valid and therefore not real.” The sun clearly shines out of this person’s ass, which is handy since everyone else is completely in the dark. A guiding light, you could say.
Idea for new TV show: “Not Safe For Jerk,” wherein a host of the biggest jerks on the internet get visited by a couple of the most hideously grotesque people available at their workplaces, who proceed to do disgusting things to each other while moaning the name of the jerk in question. It would be kind of like an ultra disgusting candid camera aimed at internet trolls/jerks…
Who wants to hear a song about an old west showdown between a cat and a mouse? You do, that’s who! Who wants to embarrass herself? I do, apparently! This could probably be better, but so what (headphones probably better than speakers for this btw). Lyrics below. If anyone wants the mp3 of it, get in touch. More to follow, in all likelyhood (lucky you!)…
Last chance for the kitty cat, last chance at the cat saloon Searching for the great white mouse from the morning ‘till high noon Searching high and searching low, but the mouse is usually low Didn’t want to lead this life, but it’s the only thing he know
One mouse that got away, the greatest mouse alive Searching for a piece of cheese and running to survive It’s a real hard life these days in the vicious wild west Just to make it through one day, you’ve got to be the best
Cat vs. Mouse, in 1862 It’s a vicious world, but what you gonna do? Try your best, you might just make it through At least keep fighting ‘till the end
Some mice are dirty, some mice are very clean Some are insouciant, if you know what I mean One mouse puts all those other mice to shame Now the mousy world will never be the same
The best clawslinger this town has ever seen Other cats think he is cool, but the mice all think he’s mean One mouse got caught up in this deadly game Played to win, by the kitty with no name
Cat vs. Mouse, in 1862 It’s a deadly world, but what you gonna do? Even if you try, you might not make it through At least keep fighting ‘till the end
They met at sundown, in the center of the town Bloodthirsty stares from the locals gathered ‘round Was it insouciant for the mouse to show up there? It made no difference to the mouse without a fear
But like all stories, this one had reached an end The cat attacked, while the mouse tried to defend But then a squeak rang, and thundered through the crowd Vicious glowing eyes, but the cat still looked so proud
Cat vs. Mouse, in 1862 Now the mouse is dead, but that’s what kitties do Now matter where you run, the cat will come for you At least keep fighting ‘till the end
Oh yes, by the way, I’ve enabled anonymous (a nonny mouse) questions as well here, so if you want to ask me something you can cower behind the cloak of anonymity. Not that I’m expecting many questions (not a lot of followers anyway - I fail as an online cult leader), but yes. Also, my cat just said “people on the internets are buttface,” but I shouldn’t really be held responsible for what my cat said so take that as you will…
Holy flaming elephant shit you guys, this is the WORST of a tragically flawed literary tradition. I’m not one for poetry, my tastes don’t go past Shel Silverstein and filthy limericks, but I do know when something is extra-super awful and this is most certainly that. A lot of poets chop up perfectly good sentences and arrange them pretentiously, and that’s the case here, EXCEPT. It’s Danielle Steel. These sentences did not start out as “perfectly good”. They started out as “utterly abominable” and she made them even worse.
Needless to say, it’s pretty gawd-damned funny stuff!